My gf mouthed to me after participating later part of the to a yoga class. I became in downward dog trying to focus myself. “What’s the problem?” We mouthed right back.
“We can not show leggings! It’s unsexy!” She said aloud, startling the Republican lady sleeping in child’s cause to her left.
Truth be told, she’s appropriate. Sharing leggings could be the gateway drug to peeing together with the doorway open. And you learn, every time you pee together with the doorway available in front of their girl, a lesbian angel will lose the lady wings.
10. Wearing my girlfriend’s jeans (without inquiring).
Once you begin getting back in trouble for using your girlfriend’s $300 developer jeans without asking, you are approaching cousin condition.
Your own gf will scream at you like you’re the girl annoying small brother whom steals every one of the woman close crap. While — goodness forbid — you happen to look better than she does within her jeans, better, pretty soon she’ll begin planning on your as their annoying small aunt whom takes each one of their good shit. There is nothing gorgeous regarding the girlfriend associating
It’s a guaranteed strategy to have never sex again.
11. making use of my girlfriend’s toothbrush.
When you start discussing a brush, you get rid of your identification completely. Before you know it you’ll be some of those weird lesbian people having morphed inside exact same people. Protect your own individuality, and rehearse your very own toothbrush, kindly and thanks.
12. teasing with my ex-girlfriend’s pals.
It’s an inexpensive adventure, but trust in me. It’s terrible karma.
13. advising my personal sweetheart that the girl friend was actually flirting beside me.
If the girlfriend’s pal is actually discreetly flirting to you, just pretend she’s being awesome friendly rather than, previously drunkenly inform your girl.
If you don’t desire to be during the middle associated with lesbian drama, that is. Which, yes, may be fun for 5 moments, but easily turns out to be, uh, terrifying…
14. Switching my personal girlfriend’s design.
In the event that you tell your gf she seems sexier in blazers than she do in board shorts, she will resent you for the rest of your own relationship.
Only maintain your throat sealed and take your own girl the board-short-sporting lesbian that she’s, OR find a geniune blazer-wearing girlfriend. Because keep in mind: your can’t become board shorts into a blazer, in spite of how difficult you shot.
(But you can, your record, turn a homemaker into a ho).
15. writing and submitting articles about becoming an insane sugar daddy meet girlfriend on the internet.
Not merely has we written content detailing just what a crazy bitch I am, but I’ve come pissed off when women I’m recently matchmaking believe I’m a crazy bitch. “Well, didn’t you talk about it online?” They’ll query.
Touch e . Touch e .
16. Pretending to understand what lesbian intercourse was actually whenever I didn’t come with clue.
“Of course i am aware what lesbian sex is. it is when um, you realize. Like, when a girl becomes over a girl…”
17. Pretending we realized tips scissor as I didn’t come with clue.
“i really like scissoring!” I yelped at age 16 when I think scissoring required performing arts and crafts along.
18. separating using my girl whenever we happened to be both on our times.
do not make any sudden decisions when you’re both bleeding.
I promised myself personally I would never be the lesbian just who u-hauled until I became the lesbian just who u-hauled. Now I’m the lesbian who may have formally never ever lasted a lease.
8. finalizing leases against my better judgment.
These are leases, the amount of period I’ve dutifully signed that godforsaken dotted range when my personal intuition are yelling “Don’t do it! This bitch was outrageous!” was unfortunate, as you would expect.